How Do You Deal with Loneliness and How are You Lonely When You're Surrounded by People?

-Contribution by TM from Mobile, AL

We all face loneliness at sometime or another. For me it was in the middle of - and now - after a long relationship. A series of long relationships actually.

I don't know how to describe what it feels like when you are surrounded by people - even family and friends - and a sudden overwhelming sense of loneliness just seems to take over. It can turn the brightest day into shadows and wipe the smile right from your face. I'm still dealing with it. Every day.

I read the posts on FB that say "Only you can make you happy." I read books about happiness. I listen and read things that make me laugh. I read the Bible, talk to friends, spend time with my children. I know that getting out and meeting new people, learning new things and giving my time to help others is the best medicine. And, sometimes, it helps. Each day that passes, helps. But it doesn't always erase the sense of loss or the feeling that it will never be, that rises up and chokes me.

So I plaster on a smile. Fake it til I make it. And try not to give in and settle just to chase the loneliness away.

One day at a time right?

What kind of Story? A Kid and a Dollar.

So I've been asked, by a few people now, "What exactly does a story look like for your project?".

My answer? "Well, whatever you want it to be!"

Apparently that wasn't enough, so here is an example. (Of course, your story may be funny, sad, a great observation about an everyday thing, inspirational, a lesson learned. Just what ever. Again, its about sharing your life so that others may benefit.)

Author Anonymous:

"I have had a hard time with my children, trying to teach them the concept of gratitude, selflessness and that giving really is better than receiving on so many levels. I had also been struggling with the concept of wise spending and saving. Needless to say I was becoming frustrated by the seeming lack of listening and learning!

One day we were in a grocery store and my son - as always - asked me if he could have some money to go buy something. Normally I say 'no' but he had remembered his 'please' and I had been working on teaching manners. So I gave him a dollar. As we walked around the store I waited to see what he would waste it on. Was it going to be a candy bar, soda, cheap toy? We finished shopping and he still had not spent the dollar and now I was genuinly curious. Had I just been duped by a 10 year old into giving him a dollar so he could just keep it? I rolled my eyes at the thought and then became a bit proud that maybe he was learning the concept of saving. (We could work later on the concept of earning!)

As we headed out of the store though, it became clear his intentions. Without hesitation, he headed to a man wearing a sad Santa suit, and - with a big smile on his face - handed him the dollar. As the man said thank you, my son turned to me with the biggest grin. I couldn't help but smile back as I said, "That was a very nice thing you just did. I am very proud of you!"

And that was when I realized, that they really do pay attention. At least sometimes. :)

Everyday

Everyday is a set of stories, a day of new adventures. Everyday we can see the world as something new, even on those days that we're just driving to work or doing something that seems mundane. Everyday can be something different and, maybe, even exciting. If we can just be open to it. Everyday. Don't think it's possible? Believe your days are just too boring? Then try this for a week. Every morning wake up, give thanks, and then ask yourself, "I wonder what today will bring?" And then, don't fill in the answer. See what happens and discover it instead.

A Call to Action

Now that some people have started looking and - hopefully - thinking about the first post I made, I'm issuing a call to action. Again.

I've had a few inquiries, but no stories yet! :)

So. Who is going to be the first soul brave enough to realize they might have something worth saying, even if they think it doesn't matter?

They say that everyone has a story to tell. One story of tragedy or triumph that is deemed important enough to be shared with the world. No matter how small or large your world might be.

But I think we all have many stories to tell. Minor stories. Major stories. Stories of sadness or just frustration. Stories of immense grief or flight inducing happiness. Stories, about every day life. And all of them are important enough to be told. Many, needing to be told.

Why tell our stories? There are many reasons. Sometimes our stories need to be told if just to be able to lay down a burden that has weighed down our soul. Sometimes, because your story may bring hope to someone who reads it. Or, because the stories can bring comfort to a stranger half a world away, simply by letting them know that there is someone else that is experiencing the same problems or challenges. Comfort in knowing that, they, are not alone. And stories - as someone once said - that need to be told because, one day, they may save a life.

And we never know which of our stories might be the one that will matter to someone else. Which means that we shouldn't hesitate to write them - especially with the thought that a particular story is not important enough to matter. Because, the truth is, all of our stories, matter. Because, together, they tell the complete tale of this thing we call life.

So, I ask you, to send me your stories here. Send them without worrying about how they sound, checking your grammer, or worrying about capitalization and punctuation. Send them with a name or state or country or send them anonymously. And I will post them here and, together, we will see what happens when a person takes a chance to share their story with the world.

Send your story - with the text pasted in the body of the email to: tkharrisonline@hotmail.com.